she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
