That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
