He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
