At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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