Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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