I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize