wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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