Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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