3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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