The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
