i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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