I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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