So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
