WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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