Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
