Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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