How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
