Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
