return my video game
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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