what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
