I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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