Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
