Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize