Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
