I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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