I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
