you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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