90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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