Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
