Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
