How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
