Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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