This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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