your room smells of hookers.
And success
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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