I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
