Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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