I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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