Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
