Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
