You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
