So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
