ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
