I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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