im drinking this country out of the recession.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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