Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
