How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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