This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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