I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize