I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
