Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
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