Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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