I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
