What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
