You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
