just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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