So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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