Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
