? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize